ONG is KING KONG!

2009-04-20T08:39:00.002+08:00

FINAL PROJECT

SIMON AND LOUIS FIND A HOME

My group's childrens' book is about two friends, Simon the sheep and Louis the pig who are hungry,sad and lonely. They go on a trip to find the perfect family who will be willing to take them in. Along the way,they encounter some families who are not ideal for them to feel loved and feel warmth.These families are the Browns,the Luthers,the Willards and the Jones.

In the project,my part was to draw these four families and why they are not ideal families for Simon and Louis. These pictures are shown below.

The Jones,where kids are fighting and throwing toys all over the place.Simon and Louis did not want to be in a home like that.

The Browns,whose cows look so sad and lonely,which scared Simon and Louis.

The Luthers. The Son refuses to listen to his mother's orders of feeding the chickens.Simon and Louis knew that disrespectful children are bad and they didn't want to stay i nthis house.

The Willards,who are seen to be eating Bacon and Lamchops during a picnic lunch.This scares Simon and Louis,who obviously knew that they will be eaten if they lignered around any longer.

Apart from the above 4,i also contributed to the cover page as it was my original style and idea which the group used.

The Eventual book cover

My original work

2009-04-20T08:07:00.001+08:00

ASSIGNMENT 5

Color Scheme

I chose the oriental one in the end because i feel that it most portrays what i believe Asia to be in the most accurate and most colorful way.In the picture are a Chinese Pagoda,a Sikh Temple,a Mosque and a Japanese Shrine. These are 4 very different types of architecture from all across Asia.

Final Prototype

The reddish-orangey backgroudn gives a very oriental/east-asian feel to the entire postcard,even though there are also other parts of Asia such as India and Southeast Asia and even Middle East. However,i feel that the mosque and sikh temple adds enough diversity to the overall image that it makes it alright for a red-orange background to be used.

Original idea

This was my original idea. It is a concept but in photography, it doesn't translate well.The colors look flat and well the dishes are diverse,they lack an obvious difference. In the end,i decided to completely rework the entire thing.

2009-04-20T07:54:00.001+08:00

ASSIGNMENT 4

FINAL PROTOTYPE

I have chosen to do a poster entitled “DRUNK DRIVING DESTROYS LIVES” because i personally feel that it is a problem that should be dealt with more heavily. While the government has already been doing its part in its anti drunk driving movement, more can still be done.

In my poster, i show two cars crashing into each other, while alcohol glasses and containers act as a backdrop. These alcohol glasses are shaped like buildings such that they are towering over the cars.

This poster wants to communciate to the audience that the alcohol which is shown prominently, affects your ability to drive,hence resulting in a car accident symbolised by a big red zig-zag bubble.

ORIGINAL POSTER

I originally did the above poster but the feedback generally was that it was too bright or the colors were not serious enough,or too gaudy. Also, the cars were not realistic looking and the human beings do not look realistic as well. The "Drive your family for life" slogan was confusing to some.The message that i want to bring across, which is mainly that if drunk driving affects all those around you,especially your family.

In the end,i decided to change it totally and go with the above poster.

2009-04-20T07:15:00.001+08:00

ASSIGNMENT 3

Explanation of story
My story uses the yellow tinge on purpose, to show something secretive and dark and not so out in the open compared to if i use"whiter light". The yellowish lighting gives it a mysterious feel. Inthis storyboard,the protagonist has a letter waiting for her. She opens it and is at first shocked. She takes a second look at the envelope to see if it is a prank. It is not.Next the storyboard zooms in what the message is : "I KNOW YOUR SECRET". THe last scene leaves us with a crushed paper. We do not know if the protagonist crushed it because its all nonsense or if it is true and she's so afraid that someone knows her secret that she crushed it and threw it away. This cliffhanger ending leaves things unclear and that's my intention.

Inspiration
My story is inspired by this fantastic film entitled “The Letter”, which stars the inimitable Bette Davis. In the film, a letter discovered could potentially destroy her life and she has to do everything she can to keep her life within her control.

My story is done in such a way that aims to be slow paced and purposefully tedious. This story is not exactly like that of “The Letter” but it does borrow the aspect of a “deadly letter”. Here in my story, the protagonist receives a letter which is seemingly strange and most definitely deadly. The story ends with a cliffhanger and we do not know what happens next.

The above image contains some original images used but were later discarded because i feel that they do not aid my story. The original letter was too long and wordy and not as impactful as "I KNOW YOUR SECRET". That is why i did not use it in the end.

2009-04-20T06:57:00.001+08:00

ASSIGNMENT 2

Step 1: Process of Abstraction

The explanation of each step is within the picture.
I have chosen a library catalog search machine because there are so many machines i nthe library that a person gets confused when he/she needs to find the library search machine which is the most important and most often used.

This sign should be placed at all corners of the library with arrows on it as well to point towards where the machine is.

2009-04-20T06:22:00.003+08:00

ASSIGNMENT 1

Step 1 : Develop 4 sketches.

Here i did one sketch to show that i love playing tennis with tennis rackets manipulated into letters,tennis ball embedded into letter "E", tennis net combined to form the letter "V",etc.

Second sketch shows different microphones,and they all show that i love to sing.

Third sketch shows different types of fashion apparels and accessories to show that i am into fashion.

And lastly, the fourth sketch shows fruits because i love to eat fruits.
2nd stage: Choose one and develop into 2 roughs.

Rough 1: I selected the one on fashion because i feel that it most represents me.
In Rough 1,i drew these clothes to be hanging on a rope for drying.

Rough 2: Here,i drew my name on what looks like fulscap paper to show the journalism
bit of my "and i aspire to become a fashion journalist".

Final Stage: Prototype.
The pencil and pen here acting as a clothes hanger are what shows the journalism(writing) aspect of the statement, and the clothes represent the fashion part of it.

2009-04-20T06:01:00.001+08:00

CLASS EXERCISE 2

CALM

This is an image of an open sea with the moonlight shining upon it. This to me is very calming and hence fits the word. The still night sea is peaceful in his serenity.

POWER

This fist symbolises power because when i think of power i think of the phrase "iron fist". A dictator rules with an iron fist because he has power.Hence i drew an iron fist.

2009-04-20T05:47:00.001+08:00

CLASS EXERCISE 1

This equipment is called the "BRAINWAVE GRABBER". It grabs other people's brainwaves and activities if they are within sensory field. This means that it will also grab other people's creativity juices as well. This in turn will be transmitted into our own brains and help become more creative by having other peopl's ideas.

Not the most novel and honest thing but it works!

2009-02-08T21:10:00.001+08:00

Hello there! This is my NM2208 blog and its actually an old blog of mine that i am now reusing for this module!(i have edited the settings so that my older entries remain hidden haha) I can't wait to put up kickass graphic works in no time!(i'm not serious about this because i don't have the talent to produce such fine art)

I'll like to be very honest here,i have a studied hunch that 2208 might be my worse NM module this semester because Photoshop and Illustrator remain extremely confusing to me. I mean this spells nothing good for the future right?

Anyway,as you have guessed fairly easily already,i worship Frank Sinatra! (and also his contemporaries back in their day) I live for jazz, traditional pop music and vintage films(not retro,there's a big difference). Its strange but i have always felt like i was born in the wrong era.

Oh well,guess that's the first entry of this blog then! Until next time!

What am i doing?

2007-07-11T23:07:00.000+08:00

Blogger is so passe,i don't know what i am doing back here.

I guess from time to time i shall write here(although i still blog at LJ alottt)

Password Protect.

2006-11-30T23:28:00.000+08:00

Wow,despite all the blanks in the last entry,it still felt pretty darn good to release like that(to the extent that even if that friend finds out i couldn't care less).

But it set me thinking.Maybe its time to lock the journal.As in,really only one or two person has access to it.That way i can blog freely,no need for censorship and irritating underscores___.

Anyway,anytime a movie has a title as ridiculous as Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan,you know you have to watch it even if critics give it horrible reviews.I know i want to watch it for sure.The title made me laugh for like,5 mins.Just the title alone.

And i love the Stranger than Fiction poster.Its very circa 1950s.So i must watch that too.Well the poster being a major selling point for me but the cast,Dustin Hoffman and Maggie Gyllenhaal?I MUST SEE THIS.Ever since Kramer Vs Kramer i have loved Dustin Hoffman.

Anyone else agrees with me when i say Quentin Taratino is overrated with a capital O?
____________________________

Went to IKEA today(gosh how stupid can i get) and lo and behold it felt like Ikea was giving out freebies or something.I just couldn't resist.I mean i live next to the damn place i literally walked over and upon reaching i wanted to make a U-Turn but what the hell,i thought.

So i went in,ate some swedish meatballs,chicken wings,salad,cake and left,only to encounter a queue for exiting the mall.At that point i wanted to shoot myself in the genital area and say,GOD!(and no,i was not alone.but i shall not disclose the identity of my company haha.see,this is really convincing me to lock the journal up,so that i can blog no holds barred)

I actually took a picture of the sheer size of the interior of the mall but laziness is getting the better of me.

Okay i have decided to lock this space.
So it should take place in about two days.

You irritate me to no end.And you don't know it.

2006-11-29T23:50:00.000+08:00

Okay i really have to get this off my chest because its getting tiring.
You know,i have this huge problem with people who have a need to prove that they are better than me.

For example i have a rather close friend,who i quite like(you don't have to like all the friends you are close to.you are just friends because of whatever reasons) but who has an uncanny ability to irk and irritate me to the deepest degrees.

This person brags a lot and says such things to me:
(a) "you know the other day i went to _________(brand dropping) and bought their famous _______(product dropping) and i was so happy."
(b) "you know the other night i went with ______,_______,________,_______,_______ and ________(name dropping) to ______ Night and we had a blast. We had like so many _______ and ordered _______,______ and _______.Somemore we also got in there very early because of ________ queue."
(c) "have you tried ______ from _______ because its really bloody good."

Honestly(here's where i am going to blow),I DON'T FUCKING CARE!
Just leave me the fuck alone and you can lead all that fucking HIGH-LIFE you want to lead.
Why the fuck does it matter whether i know where you go to lunch or dine or club or spend your endless amount of money at?Does it fucking matter?
FIRSTLY,you have no dress sense so all the brands in the world will not neccesarily make you look any more attractive than you are.(P.S. you are actually bloody ugly you look like my backside actually)
Secondly,it sounds like you just want to tell me you are better off than me.Well i am flattered! If you have to try so hard at it then i must really be quite something.
Thirdly,i can afford all the luxuries you have been enjoying too but i don't TALK about it so extensively like YOU DO and your big mouth stinks.
AND stop telling me where you have been partying and proceed to show me 43488769898798 pictures of you pretending to enjoy your time at wherever.It does not,I REPEAT it DOES NOT make me jealous because i know how much i like clubbing which is REALLY NOT A LOT AT ALL.In fact i much rather stay home and be boring and watch DVDs and not be at a club DANCING(how lame i swear i am not going to dance ever again) and having to be fake and be nice to everybody i see(everyone knows i hate everyone.i hate everyone but myself) and do mindless activites like that.

Phwoar.That's really all i have to say.
I must have lost about 2/3rds of my friends by now.

But really,its not directed to anyone who reads this blog,if you read it,you are safe and please continue partying the way you have been,i am really taking a jab at someone else who's a big delusionist.AND AND,i think you should do whatever you want to do,but just don't put it in my face.I get very irritated by that.

Screencaps.

2006-11-28T12:01:00.000+08:00

Oh Babs,you're on my mind 24!

MySpace,you suck i have 5 friends.

Nobody views me on Friendster.

As Time Goes By.

2006-11-24T12:57:00.000+08:00

"You must remember this
A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by."

Robert Altman passed away earlier this week.
I really liked Gosford Park.

Anyhow,isn't it really nice to know when you know the person you love so much,so well.
Like you know when they are going to snap,what makes them laugh,what kind of routine they go through everyday,what toothpaste they use,how much cheese they put into their food....

Because of Casino Royale,i believe Sony Ericsson phones are now the IT phones.
Such as this.

Sleep in heavenly PISS.

2006-11-18T04:05:00.000+08:00

My airconditioner is leaking.Like water descending free fall and in the mean time keeping me wide awake with such sounds loud enough to wake even the oldest living vampire(HA irony.they're the oldest living dead creatures.get it? DUHHHHH) from his deep slumber in some god-forsaken Romanian castle buried deep in the Transylvanian(wrong?right? spelling i mean) woods afraid to emerge from hiding because of their fear of attracting..........

I seem to have for the,22423535657th time,manage to go off course.

Which is not really surprising considering the fact that right now my mind is alive as a scurrying Queen Ant and her troop of subservient subjects wanting to escape the oncoming floods that have been caused by the curiosity of human beings:Are ants water-borne?Can they live in water? As a result,these ants seek refuge in faraway and mythical places such as the area below the sink where the pipes are and when the pipes start to leak they move again,to undiscovered,seemingly promising land only to be disappointed again because WATER IS EVERYWHERE and...

And what was i talking about in the first place?

Oh yes,that i couldn't fall off to sleep because of the disturbance caused by the dripping sound made by my leaking airconditioner and right now i feel like a cup of Milo.

AND i hope Alvyn is having a good time eating Chinese food in Beijing,and freezing his chef-ass stone-cold.

And i don't think i will awake in time to meet Weikee and the rest at 1 tomorrow so i think i should get my ass off this computer now.

And notice how all my post-titles are so closely linked to the posts themselves?Well i mean DUH but i actually think my titles are kinda creative,with puns and all.

Pennies From Heaven.

2006-11-14T00:04:00.000+08:00

I have come to a conclusion.

I am not cut out for public transport. Or rather,public transport is not cut out for me.(not trying to sound elitist or anything although its not that i care whether you care or not)

Unfortunately,the urgency to get a driver's license is about as great as my want to read a chinese book(or watch channel 8) in the next two minutes.(and if you know me you'll know its pretty low)

And still unfortunately for me,my financial outlook now is very unpromising.Two weeks ago i had 11 bucks in my bank.Today i have less than that.My mum just transferred money,but i used it all up in a day.

So that also rules out cabbing.

Which also means i'll never make it to any appointments until i have money to cab again.(i am usually late by 2 hours even by means of a cab..now i might as well just stay home)

I have also come to realize that this blog is fast becoming my mouthpiece of destruction(towards others.usually before they can destroy me).And for some reason,i don't feel bad about it at all.

The one where i was irritated to Death.Almost.

2006-11-11T18:00:00.000+08:00

There is this person on Friendster that you and I both know.She makes like 124554344 posts on her Friendster blog a week and floods my email inbox everytime she updates.I am sure she gets a hell lot of views(YAY good for her she's so popular i'm sure she thinks she's very pretty now but she's not she's just plain irritating) but anyway my point is this person is _lv_ri_a and i am very tempted to comment on her blog.

In fact i plan to say this,"Er,your blog is very entertaining but no one reads it and the English is bad and sad and just pure torture for the eyes so can you please stop flooding my inbox because everytime you update my inbox screams _LV_RI_A HAS UPDATED HER BLOG!(am i supposed to be excited at the prospects of you possibly talking about your boring life again for the 3343546th time?) Thankyou very much. Maybe you should try blogging on something called..er,er...BLOGSPOT? You know,that way you will not bother anyone and no one bothers."

Am i typical or am i typical.
Going out now bye but before i go,an excerpt from her blog.

Blog disclaimer: For close friends n authorised personnel of the blog owner's onli...the rest, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK...the blog owner shall not be liable for any loss or hurt suffered in the course of reading because this is MY BLOG and i shall write what i want... MY BLOG is abt me(yawnz),my life(blah blah blah), my love life(which is so "exciting" ppl often ask if im filming a movie out of it),sch life (which sux!) n my weird tots bout life...

Yea your love life is SOOOOO exciting its like watching a romantic comedy,oh yea,and its funny too.

The Most Narcissistic Layout...yet.

2006-11-10T02:20:00.000+08:00

Wow.As you can see,i love myself a lot.
Yea,and that is the century's biggest secret.
Actually i have another secret to tell.
I like to look at myself in the mirror a lot.
On the train,in the changing rooms...Even when i pass by the mirrors in Wisma i have to check myself out.(but i do it in such a way that no one knows i am actually checking myself out)

Oh my God i love myself.

In case you haven't realized,this is supposed to be a mockery of me.
Unlike ___________ and ____________,i am willing to poke fun at myself.And they always say to not take yourself or life too seriously or you might worry yourself to an early death.

I have the funniest thing in the world to tell you guys but its getting late and i can feel myself repeating the same words over and over again,which means i am getting tired and when i get tired i don't articulate very well and when that happens i much rather jerk off to porn or die laughing at other peoples' blogs and their inability to construct a proper sentence without making a grammatical error.
(see the irony there?i shouldn't think so.but if you do please tell me what it is.)

Sometimes when i am bored i also like to force my sister to sit down with me to laugh at certain people and their hideous wannabe photos on Friendster such as _________ and _________ and _________. Wait,and ___________. Actually,i also like to make fun of ________ alot. But no one beats the ultimate ugly bitch in _________.

Okay now you all know that i am quite the self-loving,evil _____.
Tell me,is this even surprising for any of you?

I do know its Fucken' Good.

2006-11-09T00:47:00.000+08:00

Chan Sau Fong. Correct? Did i spell it correctly ADRIYANA?
Eh i had a nice time with you until you left so abruptly.
"MY BUS!"

(i stole her pictures)

Glutton Square.Esplanade library(for me to borrow DVDs and be the biggest loser in the world).By the bay next to the mall.
___________________

Is anyone else happy that George W. is getting as much flak from the American public as he has been getting?

I know I am.

Anyone else feels the way i do?That for all our BIG BROTHER is trying to do,it only looks more pretentious than a genuine,real effort to move forward in our country's fundamentals and ideals?

I know I do.

Do you find the Channel Five news program irritating?Subtitles and all(albeit it being meant for the deaf and all)?Faux pas futuristic setting and all?Tongue-tied anchor and all?I know you know i am reading from the screen in front of me and all but i can't be bothered because i have no ad-lib and improv ability and all?(sorry for the "and all"s. i find it to be quite addictive and all.oops.sorry not again.)

I know I do.

What am i talking about?
What are you talking about?
Do you know?Do you understand?Do you get yourself?

I know i sure don't.

I just know i like the cheap cakes i get from this historic confectionary at Tiong bahru.
And its really Fucken' Good.

Help Me To Help..Me.

2006-11-04T03:43:00.000+08:00

In all seriousness,i am desperate for a salvation of some sort,a higher being(see you know i am referring to God but i can't blatantly just mention his name because he will then know i am desperate for help and he will not help me..ok fine,that's not ture,but that's kinda like my logic so if you do not agree you can set up your own church preaching differently).I need someone mighty to help me sort out my life right now because as you can see,it is in a very bad shape(i know,you can't really tell because i always sound so spirited but really i am not.Its all a front and i am a very good actor,acting like i am fine when i am not.Again,i am a very good actor so bear that in mind.Next time you say something to me like "EH I THINK YOUR TSHIRT SUCKS" and i say "OH THAT'S ALRIGHT" i probably really mean "I HOPE YOU DIE AND ROT IN HELL.IS IT REALLY THAT UGLY? IS IT? SHIT.")

So anyway where was I..Right.
Well,the point is.I need a direction.I mean,I know the direction i am suppose to go at. But there's this really strong current,wind whatever,steering me away from my destination or the right path(if you want to get all preachy-language and all) and right now i am pretty much in a doldrum in juvenile-delinquent land.

So please,please help me.No i don't want any of you to help me.You're all useless.Its not like you can turn water into fire or fire into ice.Oh please,you can't create miracles for me.I need a higher being,ok i give up,I NEED YOU GOD so please help me find my way and not wander into a strange land my heart wants to be in but one where my mind is screaming "you bloody useless fool..bloody sinner.Get out of there!"

I'm The Greatest Star,I am By Far,But No One Knows It!

2006-10-22T17:15:00.000+08:00

Hi,i don't get the millions of people who form their own bands,and then promote themselves on their blog,and call themselves indie(ok this is correct but wait a minute) and then put their music up on purevolume only for you to discover that they really are INDIE because the music sounds like fingernails upon the black chalkboard,all this with a basement recording like quality...like i wish they would do something more worthwhile,such as jamming and practicing until they become better skilled musicians rather than impress upon people that they are just really desperate for an ambition,an ambition that might amount to nothing if they continue making such awful,bad attempts at producing "music".

Unless you are as good as Shane you should never venture into that direction of giving a name to your band!
Some of these people are seriously amusing and amazing(in the bad sense).If your music sounds like fuck why would you want to name yourself something so cool like *****a?

Maybe i'm just jealous because no one would form a jazz band with me as lead vocalist so goodbye i'm a jealous prick of a bitch.

(if you leave me now...yea great..)

Dumb and Wit.

2006-10-12T15:00:00.000+08:00

Some people spend their whole lives pretending to know more than they really do.

Others spend their whole lives pretending to know less than they really do.

I don't know which is worse.BUT I HATE BOTH TYPES!

(If you care,click.)

Don't Rain On My Parade.

2006-09-27T22:01:00.000+08:00

You know,i have nothing against Snow Patrol.And you know its cool if you like them.But if i hear another person talk about them or sing CHASING CARS in a hair-raising,whiny voice i am going to have to drown myself in SNOW.

I think Dick Lee is plastic.No,as in literally made of plastic.Like you know "life's fantastic when you're plastic" plastic? Like my face has been pulled so tight and botox has been injected so regularly i can no longer smile the way normal people do anymore?(Dick I am sorry i genuinely think you are an extremely talented songwriter,just look,what the hell,just listen to your work in Forbidden City which i enjoyed rather much(last night) but when i listen to your music i imagine you to look like Steven Spielberg.But in actuality and reality you look like a KEN doll and its very off putting.OHHH,and that birthday bash,talk about too much controversy! There was more controversy created in that party of yours alone than Britney "i am pregnant for the Federline-th time" Spears did try to make happen all year!)

Okay anyway,on my birthday i met the class in a 10 person reunion and i had the same old,usual kind of experience - PURE FUN,in other words i enjoyed myself so much all you losers out there could not have had a better day than me although by virtue of me writing all this it reveals my own insecurities that perhaps your day was really more well spent than mine but i do not care a bit for that because i love my class and you should just read Michelle's blog to understand why i love this spastic,irritating,nosey bunch of people(Michelle heads the list and Daniel-i love you a lot daniel especially your SIO AH(hokkien for roast duck) but you have to agree with me you come in a close second place behind Michelle on this so unofficial-its-official list.)

I don't think i have written anything quite as funny as all these in a blog post in a long time.(i think its funny,so if you're thinking otherwise,read my post title,which is a.k.a "Go to Hell",turn around and do something more worthwhile of your time,like watch PHUA CHU KANG)

Okay let me take a deep breath first.

Inhaler,where's my inhaler.

Right,much better.Now i can go on a paragraph rampage again.
Anyway,here are the much awaited and anticipated pictures from the Class/Shane and MY Birthday celebration outing.

No wait.

I really hate Sentosa.Never liked it,never will,and probably will advocate the demolishing/reclaiming over of it in 2015,when i run for presidency.If it really does happen,you sun-loving people(don't worry Alvyn,i know you'll vote for me.The Sun and You just cannot co-exist in the same sentence.Wait,i just did it.) can cry and die and use tanning machines.

As much as i hate the backdrop we were in on Saturday,i loved the company i was in - merely a mixture of retards and asylum seekers so unforgettably forgettable.

Here are the pictures.I hope you have wasted the past 5 minutes of your "its(worthless)anyway" life reading this load of intelligible and colourful commentary that has hopefully been forever etched on your mind.

Finally.

This was potluck on a beach.We had Roasted Duck(how much more politically incorrect can this get.You don't bring Roast Duck to a picnic,much less a picnic on a beach,much less a picnic on a renowned beach that is Siloso beach.Daniel,props man,props to you.),potato salad(another wonderful creation from the chef himself.This dish sends a tingling sensation down your spine when the moment you put it in your mouth.Alvyn,props to you too man.)

The rest of the dishes were insignificant.

Weikee(do you know you are actually very good looking) and I,doing really well at acting bored,no actually we were really bored.Alvyn,Shane,Daniel and Raymond were playing Soccer with a bunch of losers(even bigger losers than us) and they won with a convincing score of 50-1. Mr Kellett looks like he will much rather be somewhere else....mmm,i wonder where.But tis not my business so next!

(MORE PICTURES AND COMMENTARY AFTER THIS JUMP!)

And finally,if anyone is interested in this product,

Please drop me a mail at kelvin.ongps@gmail.com .Price is 400 bucks,definitely negotiable and its brand new.Collection time to be at my convienence.

Happy Birthday To Me.

2006-09-23T00:20:00.000+08:00

Yay.

18 is gone forever.Somehow being 19 feels weird,something doesn't quite add up.As in,19 sounds old,but 18 is just right,neither here nor there. And it doesn't help that i'm trapped in a 14 year old's body..I feel like the kid who never gets the chicks because of his endless hideous facial zits(on top of that,an altitude problem aka height).

dammit.

Breakfast at Tiffany's.

2006-09-10T23:11:00.000+08:00

This needs no introduction.

Miss Audrey Hepburn.And her Moon River.
(Get your Kleenex ready.)

Trivia

2006-09-06T11:03:00.000+08:00

According to Wikipedia.org,what is Lee Kuan Yew's English name?(oh my God..i know,he actually has one)

Harry.

Sometimes you can't trust everything you read on Wikipedia.But this one sounds more likely to be a fact than fiction.

Forbidden City tickets were bought on Sunday.I'll be watching it with my friend GAYmond(some call him Raymond) hahahaha..Actually i wish we had bought the higher priced tickets.But it doesn't really matter(i hope) because the Esplanade theatres are not all that big.Or are they?

Yet another long day at the Office doing menial chores,except that for this next two weeks i will be decked up in designer office wear(yea right) doing useless,insignificant,mindless coffee boy duties at...wait,i'm not supposed to say where i'm working at,for the Secret Service Agents(is this correct?) might just invite me for a coffee session soon.
(i'm involved in the whole IMF shit,which i personally oppose,but that will be a story for another day,some day..)

In other more interesting Kelvin news(if you care to know),
1)i've been blogging simultaneously over here(in addition to theratpacktimes).
2)Bottled water(Evian,Volvic,you know,the likes...just strictly no ICE MOUNTAIN or cheap Watsons $0.45 bottled water) is the latest fashion accessory to hit town! Celebrities are carrying it(some prefer carrying coffee joint beverage,but really,there are no boundaries...like your creativity flow!Personally,i love Starbucks),so should you!

Just one tip:Make sure you actually drink from it,don't make yourself look like a poseur with a bottle of water just to make yourself look cool.OH one more.You need huge aviators as well,to actually carry off this whole image effectively.Try Ebay,cheap and good.

Sex and The City

2006-08-26T22:36:00.000+08:00

7 months ago,Sex and The City became my favourite TV show.Its 18 mths too late,since they ended their run in late 2004,but they say its better late than never.
And i have never looked back since.

Here's why.

Samantha: I never leave underwear at a guy's place because I never see it again.
Charlotte: What happens to it?
Samantha: Nothing; I just never go back.
Carrie: Doesn't that get a little expensive, disposing of lingerie every time you sleep with a guy?
Samantha: That's why I stopped wearing underwear on dates.
Miranda: And that's why I'm never borrowing a dress from you again.

HA,how i love Miranda Hobbes.She's quick with the wit and never fails to deliver the deadly one-liners.
Oh wait wait,here's another dialogue,my favourite.

Stanford: I don't want to seem like a nobody now that I have a somebody.
Carrie: Oh, so it's okay to be a nobody when you have nobody?
Stanford: Well, apparently you're nobody until somebody loves you.

HAHA isn't that funny,and i love that song,You're nobody till somebody loves you,and especially how they made a pun out of it.
See,this is Sex and The City at its best,full of puns,full of wit,irony and sometimes mere downright crude jokes.It is a damn smart show,don't judge it from its title.

I never really understood why the show was a hit among women,i mean,i know they tackle the whole "relationship and sex" thing but i find the show a little too explicit for a woman's taste.Don't you think?

Just go watch it,its seriously damn addictive ha,and if you're wondering how,try Googling "The Living Room".You can download every single TV show you've been hearing alot of,yet not gotten a chance to see because our stupid Channel 5 rarely airs good shows,except My Name is Earl,even then,at a really bad timing like err err Saturday nights?
_____________________

More quotes from the show.

1)Stanford: Puberty is just a phrase. But 15 years of rejection is a lifestyle.

2)Samantha: Ladies! Seamen, twelve o'clock!
Miranda: I pray when I turn around there are sailors, because with her, you never know.

3)Charlotte (to Samantha): Is your vagina in the New York City guidebooks? Because it should be - it's the hottest spot in town - it's always open.

4)Charlotte: So how are you?
Carrie: I'm good. How are you?
Charlotte: Great.
Carrie: I told Aidan about the affair and he broke up with me.
Charlotte: Trey and I never had sex on our honeymoon.
Carrie: You win. So. Should we get more coffee or should we get two guns and kill ourselves?

Ok BYE! Have a good weekend!

LIPSTIKCARNIVAL,my heartstrings zinged for you.

2006-08-19T00:39:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone once again.
I have instructions for all of you.
Please support the LIPSTIK CARNIVAL online yard sale store(ok not another one of those,and not quite a sale but anyway),owned by my sister and her friend Louise.

I tried,i really tried stopping them from jumping onto the whole online-store bandwagon.
Only to fail rather miserably,to the extent of actually promoting them.

Anyway,this is them,and their faces scream please support us,we need financial help for all the mounting debts we have created for our pathetic selves.

Oh how i love them hyenas.

Friends,girls,and even boys,pleae visit hor,help spread the word,because i actually get a 20 percent commission(i think it amounts to about a buck to 5 bucks per item sold?not a very profitable business) for every customer i bring in for them,haha,okay i need the money quite badly because i just feel like having loads of cash,even though i have no good use for them haha,ok larh i am talking nonsense but the point is,whether you are girl,boy,or BRYANBOY-like,there is something for you.I mean,even if there is nothing for the guys you can still buy something for your girlfriend or something.Right?

SO,thankyou so much hor!

(click on picture to be redirected)

On the wings of Spring.

2006-08-18T14:21:00.000+08:00

I guess one man's joy is another man's suffering.

I've got overdue DVDs which i will return today,and a torn bag that begs to be fixed.Busy busy.

I went to SNEC on Monday to get my eyes checked,because of pains and stress i have been feeling upon the lower half of my eyes(now its the entire).The doctor says i have Conjunctivitis,caused either by the (over)wearing of (expensive,top of the range)contact lens(which is why this is frustrating) or my Asthma/Sinus infection.

He said i have to lay off the contacts for 2 to 3 mths.Which is completely What-the-hell.Because if i don't wear them i will look like Kumar without his drag,which is so ugly its terrifying.

I wanted to write something in this paragraph actually,but for lack of fluency i decided against it(haha),so goodbye for now.

Send in the Clowns

2006-08-12T16:33:00.000+08:00

Today i met up with Raymond so that we could both be cheapos and get great bargains at the National Library book sale.I spent about 20 bucks there,9 books and 10 magazines(all EW).DIRT cheap...I was sort of paiseh of my own cheaponess but i sucked it up and lo and behold,carried the ugly plastic bags with me all the way to Tampines Mall to have lunch(at Pasta Mania.When you carry cheapskate plastic bags,there is no need for a more expensive selection of food) and catch,lo and behold,My Super Ex-Girlfriend with Raymond.Perfect day for 2 perfect losers,YAY!

And then last night,i was at the Fireworks festival again,i mean,do i really have
nothing else better to do?

But when i saw the number of people there,i was a little comforted.Ha i guess everyone just wants to soak up the atmosphere and watch the sky get litted and glittered up.

By the way,happy belated Mich.
__________

Don't you love farce?
My fault I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here.

Them There Eyes

2006-08-09T23:38:00.000+08:00

Hello.
I've fallen ill again.
This is not fun at all.This time around,it started with my head,feeling extremely dizzy,to the point where i was unable to stand up or lay down.(because if i tilt my head back i cannot raise it back up without blood rushing away from my brain so rapidly and me feeling even more dizzy than before)
And because of my feeling dizzy and all,my stomach gave way and before long,i was vomitting enough undigested food out of my system to give Mary-Kate Olsen a run for her money.

Not fun at all.
I was sitting down watching TV last night and all of a sudden my head started spinning so badly i had to go to bed early.
What's with the getting sickly and all.I need to exercise,play some Tennis.Sweat more!(see,i'm Pes E now,so i don't exactly have to be in situations that require me to sweat.basically i'm barely doing anything physical,so i am also growing fatter and more unfit as a result)
Ah,maybe that's why i'm falling sick so often.

Jinting you bitch,go out with me soon.And then i just might,i just....MIGHT,consider lending you the dvd.HA.HAHAHA.HA

The Way We Were.

2006-08-05T21:59:00.000+08:00

Today i spent the whole day at home,feeling miserable and bored,and feeling very restless and uninterested in asking people to go out(see i am such a loser.no one asks me out ever haha).

And i hate feeling that way.You wake up sticky and yucky,face not washed,hair oily and all.And you remain that way for the rest of the day,because there is no need for a wash up at all.No visitors to the house,and no excursions to town.Hence,there's no incentive to freshen up at all.Watched MTV from 3 to 5 before i dozed off in bed again.
Then around seven,my mum called.
"Do you need dinner?"
I replied,"yes of course."
"What do you want to eat?"
"Anything?"

When she came home she really got me ANYTHING.Her anything=chinese mixed rice with shitty side dishes. Whereas i was thinking more along the lines of "anything mum,chicken chop,french fries,burger,anything,chicken rice maybe,or fish and chips with some whipped potato,anything but rice with side dishes the colour of my shit."

I ate two mouthfuls then i threw the whole thing away and cooked myself some RAMEN 100 Char Mee(the Myojyo one),which is my favourite instant noodles.

Enough of such boring details.

Anyway yesterday,i had a very fruitful day,okay not quite,since i woke up kinda late,so half my day was already gone by then,by as i was saying,it was a fruitful day because i went to the library at Esplanade and got myself some really good DVDs.

You would think it is free to borrow DVDs or CDs from the library right?But no,here's another one of my well written re-enactments to explain myself.
"Hi why can't i get this borrowed at the machine.It keeps saying item cannot be borrowed."
"Oh that's because you have to be a premium member for 21 bucks a year sir.Only then are you entitled to the DVDs,four at a time,same thing for CDs."
"Premium member?I've never in my life known you can be a premium member at a community library?Can't i just pay you 5 bucks for each DVD?"
"No."
"Oh okay,go and flush your panties down the drain then you *****."

Kidding.But yea,so bottomline is its not FREE!!And to think i found an alternative to the very expensive VideoEzy.No wait,actually it is cheaper than VideoEzy.I only pay 21 bucks as a one off fee and then subsequently the DVDs can be borrowed for no cost.Ok so that's good.But what's even better is....

[from left to right:A Star is Born(Judy Garland),The Way We Were(Barbra Streisand,Robert Redford),Beauty and the Beast,Citizen Kane(Orson Welles)]

Yes all this!I already watched The Way We Were last night,and i loved it so much.The last scene is iconic."Hubell,your girl is beautiful." Even Sex and the City cannot help but incorporate that line in one of their episodes..Of course,the theme song is even more iconic and significant than the whole movie itself.The song made Barbra Streisand a legend,icon,star and household name.It is just so beautiful and wonderfully sung.Streisand's phrasing is just impeccable!And a young Redford is also thoroughly good looking.You know who looks eerily like him?

Brad Pitt.Its not even funny.The blonde hair and sea-blue/green eyes.

So i was very happy yesterday.I wanted to get Marilyn Monroe's Some like it Hot.But Beauty and the Beast got the better of me so...haha,memories of my childhood.All these classic hollywood films really give me serious orgasms and yes,its not even funny.

Last Sunday i also got from the National Library Dean Martin's and Judy Garland's biographies.I'm a sucker for biographies because they're easier to read(i'm such a loser i tell you) and really,its not that i am cheapskate with this community library frenzy i am on but you just cannot find these things anywhere else in Singapore.For the DVds maybe VideoEzy but it doesn't always carry all the titles and for the books,don't even bother trying kino and borders,they're hopeless.

This is one long entry..
____________________

Yes ADRI,I promise i promise i will try to meet up with you real soon!No excuses for these past weeks,but i make sure i meet you real soon!

PRICK,from EBAY!Cheap and nice!

BERNICE,eerie?What you were reading my blog in the dark while you were alone in the house?Before Barbra Streisand crept up on you with "memories......light..."? HAHA

sucha beautiful disease

2006-07-29T01:24:00.000+08:00

Some updates.

PesE9L9 for a temporary period of 6 mths.I mean,i'm not complaining,its really as far down the Pes scale as you can go right?(next to pes F of course) I wish it was permanent,but doesn't matter really,i'll just renew the Pes during the review in 6 mths' time.Till then,i'm pretty much untouchable,am i not?

In other news,i was diagnosed(on Wednesday) with,Asthma.Which is quite surprising really.How do you live through your whole life without actually realizing you suffer from a condition like Asthma?But either way,i find my new inhaler really dope.Its kind of fun to use it haha,except that the powder has this numbing effect on your body,which can get quite unpleasant.

My sister recently dug up my mum's closet looking for vintage bags and instead she found an abandoned polaroid camera that actually works.All it needed was film,and once that was done,we played around with it.The films were rather expensive though,2 bucks each.Polaroids always turn out nice.

Vintage shuttle bus shots.I find these buses cool larh ok,and what a great artistic director i make haha

Some replies first.Before i go..
MICH,thanks for the dvd! I only hope you didn't get the ones i already have! Which is namely Come Fly With Me and Caught in the Act.Anyway i hope you had fun.

WEIQI err hi yea we should play tennis soon,nice to see you here!

and HI PRICK,no i will not die!

What a scare..

2006-07-19T16:53:00.000+08:00

The doctor at CGH told me this afternoon,"It might be Pneumonia."

Friends,this is not funny,because i have woken up the past few mornings feeling extremely lethargic and sore all over,coupled with the ever deadly chest cough and running nose combination.Oh,add a splitting headache and fever to that as well.

So this friendly doctor,told me that an X-Ray should reveal what is going on with me(I've had this sickening cough for over three weeks now).My first reaction was,"WHAT!I can't go for another X-RAY!I just had one three weeks ago!(for my "chronic backache")Its going to kill my cells!!"

Not that what i say matter.

Thank God though,after a fast scan of my chest and even quicker analysis by the doctor,he concluded that my problem was reallly (only)BRONCHITIS,which i suffered from as a child.I was relieved of course.

I mean,the last major case of wide spread Pneumonia wiped out more than 800 people over the world in a span of 3 months? (Say hello to SARS,he's desperate for a killing after three years of inactivity)

Ok bye,and i'm finally on Medical Board,although i still worry about my chances...

A Perfect Evening

2006-07-13T23:40:00.000+08:00

...With the help of YouTube.Especially when you go Ol' Skool with it as well.

Amazing,i found so many videos of the greatest singers ever,and i have never been more glued(in all possible sense) to the computer.

Please take the time to watch them even if half of them(or all of them) don't interest you at all.

The great Dean Martin and best scat-singer alive,Ella Fitzgerald!I love the chemistry and how they play off each other.And i love the fact that they sang They Can't Take That Away From Me,and They All Laughed.

Dean Martin again,with none other than my favouritest singer,Tony Bennett.

Frank Sinatra at Madison Suare Garden singing none other than his signature,MY WAY.What more can you ask for,the crowd's reaction at the end says it all.

Sinatra with Liza Minnelli,doing NEW YORK,NEW YORK!

Sarah Vaughan in a touching rendition of Somewhere over the Rainbow.

Okay,if you are still with me up to this point,good for you!I'm really tired now,but it was worth it watching and listening to this songs over and over again..ok bye!

The beauty of Tennis.

2006-07-09T18:37:00.000+08:00

Picture this!

Zheng Jie,2nd ranked Chinese Tennis player who stands at all of 1.64metres(which is depressingly,still 3cm taller than me...),partnered with Max Mirnyi of BELARUS this fortnight at Wimbledon for the mixed doubles event.Here's the catch.Mirnyi,who hails from the capital city of Minsk,is not exactly the tallest of Tennis players(Ivo Karlovic of Croatia owns that record:2.08metres),but neither is he the shortest,for he stands at a gangly,1.95metres tall himself!

How they even reached the semi-finals is beyond any comprehension.
I mean,Zheng speaks not a word of English(and most certainly not Belarussian or Russian as well).While Mirnyi has an adequate command of English,he surely cannot speak any Chinese to save his country from falling back into communism right?How on earth do they communicate on court??

And that height difference!Its like she's talking to his nipples half the time!

Oh how the love of Tennis transcends all boundaries,race,language and religion(ahha the last three is sounding conspicuously familiar huh)!

Alcoholics Anonymous

2006-07-02T17:38:00.000+08:00

No no,haha,i'm not the one that needs help.Its everyone else around me,stop downing all that alcohol,i hope you livers combust!(I shall withhold their names,ahemmmJINTING)

These past few days have been alright,but 've not been able to spend as much time at home with my family as i would have liked.

In recent news,my computer was infected with a really spastic virus(i can only blame the cheapskate in me for not wanting to renew the norton antivirus,so now my computer is more exposed to the millions of virus out there than a bikini clad beach slut).Basically what this virus does is it keeps prompting me with System Alerts like this:"Your computer is infected with a virus!Visit (random website) and buy (random product) for only $9.99 to rid of it!" (see what i mean,spastic.And very obvious haha) OH,it also likes to give me pop-ups with big-chested naked ugly women fronting porn site adverts(which contrary to popular belief,does not interest me because the models are really dead ugly and their ahem,breasts,seem to have been enlarged with photoshop)

So i'm booking back in tonight,and NO,i'm not intending(i'm trying to make it sound like i malinger a lot,which is not true though) to ATTEN C this week,for whatever reasons,although,as always,the thought of doing so is very very tempting.I want to go on further,but in case any higher army personnels actually find their way here and charge me for malingering(using this post as evidence),i had better shut my big mouth.

Yea,one more thing,England lost last night,which is a pity really,because i don't want Mincemeat Pie made out of German soil!And for the many many many many blind followers and fans of the English team,i feel for you!(at least now you can all sleep in peace and not have to stay up just to see the team fight losing battles)

Oh God,i really hate this feeling i have in my heart and stomach every single time i have to go back to that hell hole.But at least i had a fulfilling weekend so i shan't be a bitter wuss.

See you all soon again,i hope.

Freedom for a few hours.

2006-06-22T15:36:00.000+08:00

I never thought it would be as bad as this.
Wait,i expected it,but this really is too great to handle.

Now i have everything intention of....

Seriously,i am lost again...

Sidenote:singapore army stories

Heavy-hearted.What a great change!

2006-06-17T04:09:00.000+08:00

4SIR.
Rifleman.

No way.
Yes,definitely.
Hurray,WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES never seemed more apt.

So what,what am i supposed to think?Its that feeling all over again isn't it?So many things said to make me feel better about the situation,but nothing can take away my heavy heart.

Funny,i just knew.2 hours of sleep.No wonder.Always had a strong sixth sense,never failed me,no exception here.

Only this time,it should never have worked.

Only this time,i wish...

Euphoria

2006-06-16T03:08:00.000+08:00

I'm too tired to put everything on,but i promise you,the concert was really good and i shall put up whatever videos and pictures i had managed...My VIP tickets got me the best view in the whole hall and i enjoyed myself thoroughly.Jamie Cullum is really funny and witty in person,on stage and off,and i hope he really does return to Singapore again in the future,as he had promised.

Be back with more..sleeping time..

J CULL DAY

2006-06-15T01:29:00.000+08:00

Love the new Botti album.As usual,anything with Sting is simply magical and "What are you doing for the rest of your life?" just further cements that fact.My favourite track on this album however has got to be the song in this picture,"My one and only love",which features Paula Cole's vocals.This track seriously brings midnight lounge music to new and greater heights.

Anyhow,the first half of today was really stupid.Right before i left the house,i decided in the eleventh hour to change bags.So,i did.But i forgot to put my wallet which was in the original bag into the new bag that i decided to carry.So tada you know what happened,i got into the cab,realised i didn't have my wallet on me and then panicked like a,err,panicky panic maniac.Thankfully,Alvyn who i was supposed to meet was already at school waiting for me and so i got him to pay for my cab fare.

So,as if my day was not bad enough already,the stupid gay faggotass male clerk(and his faghag colleagues) in the general office refused to give me my certificate because i had no form of identication on me to verify the fact that i am(indeed) the rightful recipient and owner of the certificate which laid about half a metre from me.How much worst can my day get you tell me.I was a student there for two years and you tell me i need to verify your identity,i say go and lick your boyfriend's backside and armpits you piece of ageing balding meat.

But whatever,because right now,at 130 am in the morning,i proclaim the 15th of June,J CULL DAY!Cullum!Cullum!Ooh i can't wait.I'll be back with more!!

THE RAT PACK TIMES

2006-06-14T01:28:00.000+08:00

So anyway,i was deciding on the address(which i have,by the way,become very good at since i am always changing blog space) and initially i so much wanted thegershwinsongbook to be the new add but after reciting it a few times(too many),i realised how dumb and retarded and over precise that sounded that i gave up on it altogether.So i looked around my room for some form of inspiration and before i knew it,my muse had already put one together for me.There lying on my desk were three Sinatra discs yelling out to me:RAT PACK,RAT PACK,RAT PACK...

Okay so that is how The Rat Pack Times came about.I know Sinatra is like 1/6 of the real Rat Pack but you know,who cares right,except probably your dead grandmother who listened to them as a wide-eyed teenage slut(which is how your mother and your many many many aunties came about anyway...)

yarh ok so now you are feeling offended is it?and you most probably must also be thinking about never coming back here right? Well don't...

Two days to Cullum!

Taking the highway back home..

2006-06-14T00:28:00.000+08:00

Wow,after nearly nine months over at Aeonity,i've returned to BLOGGER!

Okay,so i hope this stint lasts,because i get bored very easily....and the only reason why i am doing this is also because i am bored,and i was thinking what the hell,no harm shifting here and there,its not like i have to pay money for these accounts so who cares and oh,

HELLO THERE STRANGER!Have a seat!
Tea?Coffee?

Ok i'll be back to post more i promise(actually i feel like i am talking only to alvyn cos he has been pestering me about reviving my blog.i hope he gets a life and does something more productive in his life from now.Not reading my blog will be a good start...hahahaha)